Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
