he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
