I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
