There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize