I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
