During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
