i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
birth control should be required to get into college
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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