Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
try to milk me bitch
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