this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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