But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
