Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
