On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
