i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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