people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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