My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
