Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
There's even glitter on my cock...
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