I hate all girls vehemently.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
