I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
