she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
