my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
