she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
