My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
