fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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