we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
