it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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