why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
