I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize