My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
