2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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