break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
It's just like the Real World with babies
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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