Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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