im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
