Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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