I bet he comes in French.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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