I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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