she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
