I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
