And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize