I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
