the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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