she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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