Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
