do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
