handjob tips. give me some.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
this will be a night to untag.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize