The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
we're so committed to being not committed
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
