If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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