i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
