i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Randomize
