You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Randomize
