oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
