I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
