is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
