Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize