too bad you live with your parents still
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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