Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
