It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
