32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
