Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
